Initially this email was created by Women for Women. The mistake was that Lee Ann had included Joe on the distribution list. Joe, for whatever reason, is always the ONLY guy who eats lunch with us. Well, he had responded to the email adding his male perspective - I got a good chuckle and thought I'd share...
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSEDMen Are Just Happier People - What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
Our name stays put but our money doesn’t. We get to keep our names but everything else we had when we met that had any personal significance, history or character (including many of our friends) was thrown out to make room for doilies, boxes of clothing that is two sizes too small, and that thing I am not allowed to touch in the room that I am not allowed to go in.
The garage is all yours.
The rest of the house is all yours. Did you want the garage for something? Maybe this is the day you start up that birdhouse-making hobby. Better yet, my car needs an oil change. Today, the garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
So does the litter box. Both were your idea.
Chocolate is just another snack.
True. Food is food. Love is love. Neither is an adequate replacement for the other.
You can be President.
The odds of me becoming president are ~ 150,000,000:1. I don’t know how many zeroes you need to round off to “can’t”, but it’s pretty close.You can never be pregnant.
No but I had to live with someone who was hormonal, whiny and excessively needy. Then she got pregnant.You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Yes you can.You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Yes you can.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
Mechanics tell us the truth because we know when they are lying. This is an area of knowledge, taken out of this context, you find superfluous and boring. The world is your urinal.
The unique physiological difference that allows us to urinate in situ has more drawbacks than advantages. First, you’ve seen that thing. You want one? Second, it makes us do things. Stupid things.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
Yes I have. I travel with a woman and preschool aged girl. I too have to hold it until we find that clean gas station.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
From the 12:00 position, it is lefty loosey; righty tighty. Say it to yourself.Same work, more pay.
Let’s talk this over beer sometime. Corporate email is probably not the best place for me to write my thoughts.Wrinkles add character.
Good. Women cause them. A wedding dress is $5,000 but a Tux rents for $100.
Hmm. That’s funny because I can still fit in what I got married in!
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
If it sometimes seems as if I am staring at your chest when we talk it is only because that is where your boobs are.The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
Girls burp. No one yells at women for belching...in church...while sounding out the words to “Our father”...
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
How could that be? You tried on EVERY DAMN SHOE IN THE STORE. It’s mostly new shoes that do this. This occasion only happens for me once a year. It is your feet that have never been in a three month old shoe.
One mood all the time.
See pregnancy above.Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
That is the amount of time it takes me to convey the same amount of useful information as your three hour conversation.You know stuff about tanks.
I’ve read stuff about tanks. Let me tell you about this “internet” some time.A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
Again, see pregnancy above. The fact I only need one suitcase doesn’t mean I don’t have to carry enough baggage to irreparably damage many of my boy parts. Honestly, do you really need a separate suitcase for – HOLY CRAP, are those books?!?!?You can open all your own jars.
And yours.You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
What is this credit of which you speak? If I open a door for you, I insult your feminist sensibilities. If I don’t, I insult your feminine sensibilities. Also, this credit is worthless to me unless it is cumulative...bankable. When the slightest insult is perceived, all previous credit is forfeited. Not useful. Keep your points.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
He or she can be your friend too. Try it.Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
I’ll take your word for it, you bought them. I believe the novelty packs (ie the ones that say “Home of the Whopper”) are $12.95.Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
True. One pair of running shoes, one pair of dress shoes and my last pair of running shoes (for yard work). You too would only need three pairs of shoes if you only bought them for the clothes you actually wear.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
Oh, we have things that need adjusting. I blame the $8.95 underwear.You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
I see them. I’m not allowed to mention them because you are the one who did the laundry last. My clothes were removed and placed in a laundry basket to make room for your stuff. When a woman complains about the way men do laundry, she is merely being helpful, offering the benefit of her sage advice to make him a better man and a better husband. When a man does the same, he is breaking her spirit or denying her from following her bliss.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
Except for the ruddy red color of rage.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades!
Perhaps you have not seen the Magnificent Mullet pictures from my youth.You only have to shave your face and neck.
ONLY have to shave my face? It’s our face, perhaps the most (ok, maybe second most) vascularized, sensitive surface on our bodies. Besides, you’re not fooling anyone. You only shave up to your knee unless you anticipate getting jiggy. That is how I know. If I can see hair protruding from your panty hose, I know not to bother tonight.You can play with toys all your life.
So can you. Just because you don’t, doesn’t mean you can’t.Your belly usually hides your big hips.
I don’t have big hips. My belly hides other things. Useful things.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons.
To be fair, I can only see about 1/16 of the colors you do.You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
My legs look fabulous. Moot point.You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
Do you want to? You can if you really want to. Hell, you can ‘do’ your hair with a fish bone and Elmer’s glue if you want to.You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
Whether or not I have a mustache, beard, goatee, fu Manchu or Abe Lincoln is somehow your decision also.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
I did yours at the BP. Merry Christmas.No wonder men are happier.
Yeah. Happy.